can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize