I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
