Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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