So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
