sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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