This is not my ceiling
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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