No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
