it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
