My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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