You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Shame - the story of my life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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