today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
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The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"