If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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