I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?