i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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