I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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