Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
