it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
