NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
