escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
