I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
