I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dont even know how to be here
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Damn victory sex feels great
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
