He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
