i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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