DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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