the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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