Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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