I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize