How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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