Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
