we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
