No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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