I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
