Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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