So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
