Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
