drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
