i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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