dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
