in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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