So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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