chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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