Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
