Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize