One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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