We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
