You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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