Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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