There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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