I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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