i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
