Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
