Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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