I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He felt like a one man threesome
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My feet surprised me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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