My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
