I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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