He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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