I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Who died my cat blue again?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
