I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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