did you get engaged???
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
